#growth (This note is a [[Work in Public]].) TODO: While I love the idea of creating new habits, using `time` as a trigger does not work for me. 7:00am is fictitious. It doesn't have any true meaning, although it is typically associated with "when I wake up". That's why habit-creators like these don't work for me: ``` - Meditation. I will meditate for one minute at 7 a.m. in my kitchen. - Studying. I will study Spanish for twenty minutes at 6 p.m. in my bedroom. - Exercise. I will exercise for one hour at 5 p.m. in my local gym. - Marriage. I will make my partner a cup of tea at 8 a.m. in the kitchen. ``` But habit-creators like these are much more effective: ``` - Exercise. When I see a set of stairs, I will take them instead of using the elevator. - Social skills. When I walk into a party, I will introduce myself to someone I don’t know yet. - Finances. When I want to buy something over $100, I will wait twenty-four hours before purchasing. - Healthy eating. When I serve myself a meal, I will always put veggies on my plate first. - Minimalism. When I buy a new item, I will give something away. (One in, one out.) ``` It's about freedom for me... I don't like to have to do anything at a certain time if no one else is involved. If it's just me, I should be able to decide when I do the things I want to do, not some schedule that is recommended by someone else, or even a schedule that my [[No Zero Days|past self]] created. I [[Trust|trust myself]] enough to believe that I will do what's best for me at the time I am doing it. Sometimes I will do things for the [[No Zero Days|present me]] and sometimes I will do things for the [[No Zero Days|future-me]], and it's important for me to remember that one is not more important than the other, and also that I can make both happy at the same time. It's a symbiotic relationship, not a zero-sum relationship. Alright... there is a chapter or section of Atomic Habits that directly refutes what I said about freedom. Jame Clear says that good habits free you to do the things you want do to do because you've already done the things you have to do. This is something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Not sure how much I agree or disagree. This is also related to my interpretation of [[No Zero Days|no zero days]] because I struggle most with taking care of my present self, and habits are about taking care of my future self. There is a tradeoff here that I haven't quite put my finger on. There is a connection to Good to Great: [The Flywheel Effect](https://www.jimcollins.com/concepts/the-flywheel.html) <!-- https://www.evernote.com/pub/view/grahamm160/booknotes/b916a406-58f4-42bb-b6a7-6e404207314b?locale=en#st=p&n=b916a406-58f4-42bb-b6a7-6e404207314b **Little Lessons from the Four Laws** - In this section, I have compiled some lessons (and a few bits of common sense) that are confirmed by the model. - **Awareness comes before desire**. A craving is created when you assign meaning to a cue. Your brain constructs an emotion or feeling to describe your current situation, and that means a craving can only occur after you have noticed an opportunity. - **Happiness is simply the absence of desire.** When you observe a cue, but do not desire to change your state, you are content with the current situation. - Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state. - **It is the _idea_ of pleasure that we chase**. We seek the image of pleasure that we generate in our minds. - **Peace occurs when you don’t turn your observations into problems**. The first step in any behavior is observation. You notice a cue, a bit of information, an event. If you do not desire to act on what you observe, then you are at peace - **With a big enough _why_ you can overcome any _how_**. Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher and poet, famously wrote, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." This phrase harbors an important truth about human behavior. If your motivation and desire are great enough (that is, _why_ are you are acting), you’ll take action even when it is quite difficult. Great craving can power great action—even when friction is high. - **Being curious is better than being smart.** Being motivated and curious counts for more than being smart because it leads to action. Being smart will never deliver results on its own because it doesn’t get you to act. It is desire, not intelligence, that prompts behavior. As Naval Ravikant says, "The trick to doing anything is first cultivating a desire for it." - **Emotions drive behavior.** Every decision is an emotional decision at some level. Whatever your logical reasons are for taking action, you only feel compelled to act on them because of emotion - **We can only be rational and logical _after_ we have been emotional**. The primary mode of the brain is to feel; the secondary mode is to think. Our first response—the fast, nonconscious portion of the brain—is optimized for feeling and anticipating. Our second response—the slow, conscious portion of the brain—is the part that does the “thinking." - **Your response tends to follow your emotions.** Our thoughts and actions are rooted in what we find attractive, not necessarily in what is logical - Put another way: most people believe that the reasonable response is the one that benefits them: the one that satisfies their desires. To approach a situation from a more neutral emotional position allows you to base your response on the data rather than the emotion. - **Suffering drives progress.** The source of all suffering is the desire for a change in state. This is also the source of all progress. - **Your actions reveal how badly you want something.** If you keep saying something is a priority but you never act on it, then you don’t really want it. - **Reward is on the other side of sacrifice.** Response (sacrifice of energy) always precedes reward (the collection of resources). The "runner’s high" only comes after the hard run. The reward only comes after the energy is spent. - **Self-control is difficult because it is not satisfying.** A reward is an outcome that satisfies your craving. This makes self-control ineffective because inhibiting our desires does not usually resolve them. Resisting temptation does not satisfy your craving; it just ignores it. It creates space for the craving to pass. Self-control requires you to release a desire rather than satisfy it. - **Our expectations determine our satisfaction.** The gap between our cravings and our rewards determines how satisfied we feel after taking action. If the mismatch between expectations and outcomes is positive (surprise and delight), then we are more likely to repeat a behavior in the future. If the mismatch is negative (disappointment and frustration), then we are less likely to do so - **Satisfaction = Liking – Wanting** - This is the wisdom behind Seneca’s famous quote, "Being poor is not having too little, it is wanting more." - **The pain of failure correlates to the height of expectation.** When desire is high, it hurts to not _like_ the outcome. Failing to attain something you want hurts more than failing to attain something you didn’t think much about in the first place. - **Feelings come both before and after the behavior.** Before acting, there is a feeling that motivates you to act—the craving. After acting, there is a feeling that teaches you to repeat the action in the future—the reward. - Cue > Craving (Feeling) > Response > Reward (Feeling) - **Desire initiates. Pleasure sustains.** Wanting and liking are the two drivers of behavior. If it’s not desirable, you have no reason to do it. Desire and craving are what initiate a behavior. But if it’s not enjoyable, you have no reason to repeat it. Pleasure and satisfaction are what sustain a behavior. Feeling motivated gets you to act. Feeling successful gets you to repeat - **Hope declines with experience and is replaced by acceptance**. The first time an opportunity arises, there is hope of what could be. Your expectation (cravings) is based solely on _promise_. The second time around, your expectation is grounded in reality. You begin to understand how the process works and your hope is gradually traded for a more accurate prediction and acceptance of the likely outcome. -->